At a function attended by nearly seven people in the stalled, middle elevator of the exclusively prestigious African Pride Crystal Towers Hotel and Spa – which just happens to be owned by an unnamed Chinese businessman who just happens to be the main sponsor of the Party – the unimpeachable DANC Party-Head Helen Zuma, confirmed serious rumours of behind-the-scenes allegations of a high-level plot involving the IEC and senior government officials who are said to be behind the ‘oversight’ that saw the DANC Party being excluded from the official ballot.
“This is criminal” grunted the Chief-Induna who went on to say that the DANC Party-Heads were in negotiations with their legal team about the possibility of hatching a scheme to lay formal charges at the International Criminal Court in The Hague. She went on to say that despite efforts to undermine the Party, there was an increase in membership of 164% since October 2013 when there was just one Party member.
PPRR Julius De Lille who was also present in the elevator said that the attempts by the IEC to side-line the Party first surfaced in March. ‘We knew all about their intentions and in response we contacted a private Israeli firm and instituted our own secret and independently paid for Electoral Commission to oversee our own fair and free elections.”
Mister De Lille went on to say that he was confident of a resounding success when the real official results are eventually released sometime in the next trimester.